Friday, September 14, 2012

10 easy ways to stay in love or keep that spark or... well, you get what I mean

Lists. We women tend to be list-driven. Well, at least this woman tends to be list driven. Did you know that in the much too soon future my children will be all grown up and off to collage? At that point, I hope to be back at college myself for another degree. This time in Marriage Therapy. And I will have 20 years experience under my belt. It would help if those 20 years are great ones. I mean, really folks, who would want to pay to get advice from a therapist who had 20 crappy years of experience?

We recently celebrated our 5th anniversary. And by celebrated I mean we moved half-way across the country then promptly got sick. And because I had enough foresight to prepare something in advance, (kidding here) We actually did nothing and that is due to my failure. It was my year to plan. Boo on me.  So with some actual crappy experiences to mix in with the really fantastic ones, here are just a few things that I have really learned. (disclosure since hubby does read this blog: I do not do half of these as often as I should. One of my three resolutions for 2013 is to be way way way better at this)

1. Hold hands in the car, walking, on the couch...
     For me touch is a big one. And this one makes me feel important
2. Leave notes
     Hubby rocks at this. He will always leave me little notes that I come across through out the day. It makes for a sweeter reunion at the end of the day
3. TEXT a lot. And by text I mean flirt text. Not "don't forget the milk" text
    Remember how exciting it was to get those texts while dating? Don't let that spark die!
4. Get away once a year for at least a night WITHOUT KIDS!!
    I cannot stress this enough. Even if you just drop them off at the neighbors and you stay home, it is so vital to have some absolute alone time as a couple. We have been lucky enough to do this up tp a week at a time and it makes me remember my husband as my boyfriend, rather than the to-do list guy
5. Take a nap naked. It will lead to good things
  This goes along with making sure you are intimate with one another often. Don't feel like it, well just strip down and take a nap. Or jump in the shower in the morning while the kiddos are sleeping still
6. Write it down if it bugs you. If it still bothers you after 24 hours, then you can address it. Nicely.
  A soft answer turneth away wrath. SO TRUE! Don't be naggy. If it really matters, then it will matter still in 24hours. If not, then is it really worth bringing up?
7. Laugh Laugh Laugh!
   I read somewhere that kids laugh 400 times a day. Adults 15. That was shocking! Since then I try to laugh as much as possible. It makes me feel happier and when mamma is happy... everyone else is too!
8. Send a letter or postcard when you are gone to him.
   I have every hand written letter my man wrote me. I still read them. And one day I want my daughters to read them and wait for someone as good as their dad
9. Make him steak.
    Or whatever his favorite meal is. Learn to make it and don't make it only for special occasions. Every day you get to spend together is special. He works hard to keep a roof over the families head so its nothing to whip up a nice man meal for him
10. Let your kids see you have fun together! Make it a point.
   Hubby is great at dancing and being spontaneous. I tend to drag my feet. But life is so much better when I grab him for a kiss or the tickle monster comes out or we all play hide and seek. Its all about happy endorphin's. They will cut down on the stress and frustration and soon "roses will be bloomin' beneath your feet!"

***bonus 11: SAY YES! Try it. Try for a whole day (on a Saturday or Sunday) to say yes to everything your spouse says. Want to ride bikes? Want to go to the library? Want to workout together? YES YES YES!

Did I miss any? What do you do in your marriage to keep things hot?

(**I know this list really could be 100 things to stay in love plus 100 more. But i can't manage 100. I probably can't even manage 10. But here is to trying and happy couples! )


  1. You are such an inspiration to me. What a good marriage therapist you will make someday. Thanks so much for sharing your tips with us all. It is so easy to let life get in the way and what a good reminder this is to put the spark back. I love that napping naked:)

  2. Makana I love your energy and enthusiasm and creativity! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!
    Love you -


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